Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
