We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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