you would pick up someone in the library
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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