the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
zippers are such a cool invention
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
