We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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