dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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