She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize