Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
