I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
