she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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