so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
