We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
