So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
