$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Houston, we have a squirter
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
