Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
