when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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