he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
