After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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