my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Terrible idea I love it
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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