I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
