It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
