That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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