Please, let me fuck your mom
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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