Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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