We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize