Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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