I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
