I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He did a backflip because drugs
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
