What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
