considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
