i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
