What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
