We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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