you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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