I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
