how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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