when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
