Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize