Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
