How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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