yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
