So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
