Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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