I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
