Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
