Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
