Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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