Plan B is the new Plan A
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
