Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
