New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize