break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
