Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
