just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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