her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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