do herpes really smell.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
