Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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