This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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