All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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