Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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