go do what you do best...puke behind churches
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
