please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
