the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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