I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
